GROWING IN PATIENCE, DISCIPLINE AND HUMILITY
When Sensei called my name as "Student of the Year", I had so many
thoughts running through my head. He had just given me my letter of invitation
to test for orange belt, so I almost didn’t hear him when he said "Our
student of the year for 2007 is…" I was too busy worrying about
the upcoming rank test! When the concept finally registered in my brain,
I was shocked. I truly didn’t feet deserving of such an honor, and I
could feel my ears and cheeks start to blush. He described me as "the
perfect balance of patience, discipline, and humility", a statement
that both honored and scared me at the same time. Could I really
be that person? These words caused me to think about my first paper written
as a white belt: "Patience, Discipline, and Humility in Martial
Arts and in Life".
Was I still the same person I was when
I started karate? Had my views changed? How had I grown as a person?
I decided to re-visit my paper and add my current thoughts. Hopefully,
this examination will not only help me to continue to grow in patience,
discipline, and humility, but will also inspire others to enjoy their
own personal journey in martial arts.
From my first paper, I wrote:
PATIENCE
My first test of patience in martial arts came during my learning
of kicks. I understood mentally what was needed for a good kick but my
body was having trouble executing the moves. I would focus hard, wanting
to have good form and stay balanced; but I would fall. The more I would
fall the more agitated I got. The more agitated I got the worse my balance
and form became. As time went on, I recognized that these kicks were
harder than they seemed and I was not going to perform a perfect kick
right off the bat.
I feel that patience is the initial obstacle in martial arts that must
be understood and practiced in order to move forward. With each new
technique learned, one’s patience will be tested. The most difficult
martial arts training becomes the more patience one needs to continue
moving forward. And so, with the making of a better martial artist
also comes the making of a more patient person.
The true test of patience for me comes with my need for perfection.
I have been told that I have no patience for incompetence. I hold high
standards for myself and for others. If given a task, I want to do
it correctly with no mistakes. But people make mistakes, I make mistakes.
My personal challenge is to keep those high standards but be patient
with myself and others if those standards are not reached, therefore
allowing peace of mind and the ability to keep moving forward.
Today, I feel patience is one area in which
I have grown the most. I am more aware now of when I do lose my patience,
and when faced with chaotic situations, I am able to handle it with a
more leveled head and a certain degree of calmness. My patience has clearly
been put to the test at my work, where my job duties now include training
others. I honestly believe that my karate training has given me the tools
to deal with those situations. In my personal life, I take on more unwanted
tasks. Things too tedious or despised before; I just do them because
they need to be done. Of course, being patient is a never-ending internal
struggle, as I have moved from basic kicks to now trying to control a
bo while doing a kick. I find myself still getting agitated, but it is
easier now to step back, take a deep breath, and try again. I find the
same attitude makes issues in my personal life much easier, both by reducing
my own stress level and keeping others around me a little happier.
DISCIPLINE
Maybe because obeying rules and following directions comes more naturally
to me, I personally feel that having self discipline is of greater importance
in martial arts training. Martial arts seems like a very personal, lone
journey. Once the foundation is laid out, it is really up to the individual
as to what they will get out of their martial arts training. As my Sensei
has told me on many occasions about my kicks, “I have taught you what
needs to be done, but now it is up to you to make it happen.”
At present, I realize that my self-discipline has faltered over time,
but I am hoping with the structure of my martial arts training, I can
regain my self-motivation and get back on track.
As a yellow belt, I began exercises in
Basics. For those who don’t know about Basics, they require you to perform
certain movements and stances with robot-like precision. You are not
allowed to talk, move, or show any kind of facial expressions while performing
Basics, which make it the perfect test of discipline. After starting
Basics, I realized I was not as disciplined as I thought. Basics take
following directions to a whole new level: you have to take a direction
and be perfect in its execution immediately. It takes away all other
variables – it’s just you and the direction given, and right then and
there, you have to conquer it. Basics give you an awareness of your body
on a whole new level as well: not only do you have to be fully aware
of what your body is doing (a mental exercise), you have to be able to
hold that position to perfection (a physical exercise) with enough discipline
to control your body with your mind, ignoring the pain and all other
distractions. With improvement in Basics, I see how a better balance
of focusing the mind and disciplining the body can unfold.
My journey in Karate thus far has given me a new focus on discipline
that I wasn’t aware of before. Perhaps this helped me in one of my greatest
accomplishment in my personal life: quitting smoking. I had always wanted
to quit, but never had the courage to do so before. I think that karate
helped my discipline increase enough so that I could tackle the smoking,
and I finally quit. Could I have done it without karate? I don’t know
for sure, but I know that the discipline I’ve discovered inside of me
has certainly changed my life for the better.
HUMILITY
The role of humility in martial arts and in life seems a little more
complex to me. In martial arts, I can see how with increasing knowledge
of techniques that could potentially hurt someone, you wouldn’t want
that person getting a “big head” and abusing that knowledge. I also can
see the importance of keeping oneself grounded, understanding that no
matter how long your martial arts training or how high your rank, there
is always room for improvement.
Humility in life, I think, can keep a person more aware of their
reality and where they fit in to the “big picture”.
Even today, I don’t have a grasp on the
true meaning of humility. Being chosen for Student of the Year, while
I still don’t feel deserving, makes me think I must be on the right track.
I mostly stay out of the limelight, so for this to be awarded to me makes
me feel especially honored and frankly, a little uncomfortable. I just
hope that I can live up to the title and return the honor and faith my
Sensei gives to me.
Over the last few months I have come
to realize that I had lost touch with the concepts of patience, discipline
and humility. Because of karate and the search within myself for what
these concepts mean, I now feel that I can see my reality, my goals,
and my path a little more clearly. I feel fortunate and compelled to
continue this journey into gaining more insight and knowledge of who
I am and who I am capable of becoming.
